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If I could


If I could, I’ve would
I’d paid all the bills
I’d live in a bigger house
I’d have more stuff

But I can’t

I can’t afford my own lifestyle
It is so far from reach
I live in a limbo
And it’s not cool here

If I could, I would
I wouldn’t cry so much
So often, so lost

It hurts, It’s…

Oh YES you can
You’re My Man
I’m your Wife
And you are the Love of my Life
Let’s do this thing…

No Matter What

I just can’t stop
Even when I want to walk away

There’s that look in his eyes
That flickers through me and makes me Stay

He is a good man
He is kind and true

Despite all the poorly written books about him
He is rare and fine through and through

No matter what
I just can’t stop holding him tight
No matter what
He will always be My Quiet Light

(Source: open letter to quiet light)


And the Band Played on
Even when
Even When

The Cancer was gone

Who am I now?
Not quite sure
And the Band Played On
And on but how

How do I be me again?
And the Band Played On
Life just keeps that relentless rhythm
I’ll be a Better Me soon…just when?

And So

And so it HappenedAnd it Happened to Me
It Happened to We

And it Broke our Heart
Small Bastard Tumor
Tried to screw us over with such quiet art

That’s how it works
Sneaks up and snatches your soul
Makes you ache to grow old

It’s early yet
this cancer fight
there’s more yet
Bring it on
If that’s the best you can do
I’ve got news for you

My Husband and I willl take you
You’re not a verb
Just a measly noun

Inanimate scourge and waste of time
No match for me and Him.

Your ass is Mine.
 Fuck you cancer we’re done with you
 We beat you ass though and through

Thanx fer playing our game!

I’m No Wonder Woman

Yes I have Cancer
Yes I had both breasts lopped
Thankfully No Chemo


Days a week
Am almost done.
Am almost done now.

Can’t catch my breath

Have to stay strong for Everyone

I am a Wonder Woman to Everyone but me.

So Tired

Okay I’m done now
I got It
I Got it
It’s not the Cancer
that’s killing me
It’s the Treatment
I Got it
I’m done with
Getting It
I’m done with having

I Got it
I Get it

I have It

And it will never end
Get it?


This is me right Now
I try to stop thinking of the Why
don’t try to understand the How

Just hold tight in knowing
that no matter what comes next
I will never stop Growing

This is how I look. Now this is Me
I have  found my way
through a battlefield of Surreality.

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